Tears
by aceoftwos
Summary: "I get it. I-I get it now, Kid." "Are… are you crying?"


PART I: _PANDORA_

It's winter when Kid the Phantom Thief retires. Conan remembers the undisturbed coating of the rooftop, Kid standing by the railing, barely visible against the snowfall. When Kid looks back, there's a grin stretching his lips and Conan's almost certain he isn't imagining the genuineness of it.

"I think I found it."

The words are so tentative that they don't change the atmosphere at all, so soft that they barely even breaking the silence. Conan sucks in a sharp breath and then lets it out in the span of a second.

"Did you already check?"

"I was waiting for you."

Conan remembers wondering why. He remembers thinking that Kid has been waiting for this moment for years, the original Kid died for it, why would he wait any longer?

Kid sits down, uncaring of the snow, and pulls Conan into his lap. He rests his chin on Conan's head and his arm drape across Conan's waist, the other raised in a fist towards the moon. When he uncurls his fingers to reveal the World's Heart to the sky, red spreads across the ground like blood splatter and it doesn't matter that he doesn't have a clue who Kid really is or that he's Conan and not Shinichi.

Pandora is real.

Tiny droplets fall onto Conan's head, chilling him even further. He turns around and Kid is crying, silent tears. He remembers the utter peace of Kid's expression then and the sorrow in his eyes warring with sudden joy. Conan scrambles to turn himself around and ends up practically straddling Kid.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Conan pulls off his winter gloves and gently wipes the tears away, his concern blossoming. Kid just grins, the tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying? Isn't this what you've been waiting for?"

"It's just… It's a lot. It means the end of Kid, the end of dad's legacy. It's what he died for. I don't know, I don't think I ever really expected to find it. It's—it's a little bit of everything."

"I don't think I understand."

Kid laughs and squeezes him until his lungs force him to protest. As he loosens the embrace, Conan can tell he's looking up to the sky, can feel the smile against the nape of his neck.

"It's okay not to get it. I'm just glad you're here."

PART II: _APTX4869_

It's spring when Kudo Shinichi wakes up in his own bed, in his own body. It's quiet and dark in his room, so there's no way to tell, but there's the faint scent of cherry blossoms in the air. When he looks over to the side, Haibara is sitting in an armchair that she's pulled up next to the bed, flipping through a magazine. When she looks up to the bed, Shinichi is crying.

"You're alive, what's the problem?"

Shinichi struggles to throw the covers off and sit up. Haibara drops her magazine and attempts to push him back into bed. Even weak from recovery, he's still able to overpower her.

"Get off me, Haibara. I need my phone."

"I'll get it, you idiot. Lay down!"

"Okay, okay, uh, thanks Haibara… Can I maybe get some water too?"

"Fine. Wait here, _don't_ move."

Shinichi is quietly propped up against the headboard when she steps back into the room, tears still happening, which isn't what she told him to do but she'll take it. She places the phone in his hand and takes her headphones out of her pocket, slipping them into her ears and blasting the new Yoko song.

It takes a moment for Kid to pick up the phone.

"What can I do for you, Detective?"

"I get it. I-I get it now, Kid."

"Are… are you crying? Are you back?"

"Yeah—yeah, I am. Can we meet, maybe? I don't think Haibara's gonna let me leave the house for a while, but… I want to see you."

The silence that follows is damn near agonizing. He worries that it's too forward, that he's asking too much of someone he's not even sure he's friends with. Soft laughter vanishes the concern instantly with an ease, so common to Kid, that Shinichi envies.

"Of course. I'll be there in about an hour."

PART III: _IT'S OVER, ISN'T IT?_

Shinichi is fully expecting Haibara to follow Kid into the room and keep an eye on them, make sure he doesn't overextend himself. Instead, a stranger walks in alone and shuts the door behind him. It's clear who he is, the similar bone structure and precise timing is too much too much to be a coincidence. His nerves are only visible in the twitch of his fingers and carefully blank expression.

Kid starts to take a step then stops and gestures questioningly at the bed. Shinichi nods. He watches with fascination as Kid gingerly sits on the end of the bed then makes an abrupt change and pulls his right knee to his chest, then lets it fall and mirrors it with his left leg so he's sitting cross-legged.

"I figured… Since I'm officially retired now, it's about time we met properly."

He sticks his hand out to be shaken, and without the gloves Shinichi can see that his nails are neatly trimmed and shaped with a coat of glittery turquoise polish. There are callouses along his fingers and palms, healed burns, and four tiny crescent moon scars slightly indented in his skin.

"I'm Kuroba Kaito."

Courage thrums through Shinichi's veins and he disregards the hand, launching himself at Kaito with as much strength as he can muster. They're far past the awkwardness of formal introductions.

Thankfully, Kuroba seems to catch on. He hugs carefully, like he might break Shinichi. Which, in all fairness, is a likely scenario at the moment. Shinichi relaxes until he's practically sitting in Kuroba's lap, forehead against Kuroba's shoulder, tears threatening to return.

"I literally just woke up and I'm already exhausted."

"Life changing shit will do that to you."

"Would it be rude to take a nap?"

"Dunno, probably. Would it be rude to join you?"

Shinichi curls up around a pillow with his back to the wall and uses a single finger to invite Kuroba to lie next to him. With barely any prompting, Shinichi dozes off. Kaito watches as his breath gently blows his bangs outwards, the slight twinge of pain when he moves his shoulder, the quiet snoring. But it's only when Shinichi reaches out to loosely grasp the buttons of his shirt, a slight smile on his face, that the feeling really hits him.

"Fuck."

Never one to hesitate, Kaito gently shakes Shinichi's shoulder. Blue eyes open and blink back at him, squinting in the dim light as he tries to focus his gaze.

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"No."

Kaito feels the rejection down to his bones. His muscles tense up, his stomach flips over, his heart sinks to his feet. Before he can make a hasty, undignified retreat, Shinichi tightens his grip.

"Idiot. Stay. Not no forever, just for now. Because I can literally _taste_ how my breath smells and believe me, you don't want to. It's gross. Also, really not the best time to ask that when I'm still recovering from almost dying at the hands of a mad scientist. And I was serious about needing a nap."

Shinichi tugs pointedly on Kaito's side until he rolls over, his back to Shinichi's chest.

"Go the fuck to sleep. We can talk in the morning, after I've had coffee. And brushed my teeth."

"I… Good night, Shinichi."

"G'night, Kaito."

* * *

1\. yes, kissing is a thing that happens. they've moved to the library at that point and some, ahem, more strenuous than kissing activities are happening... then haibara walks in. and threatens to kick kaito out if he doesn't keep the physical activity to a minimum. on one hand kaiito thinks it's hilarious that he's being threatened by a 10yro girl half his height but on the other hand he's a little bit terrified of her.

2\. this is literally right after shinichi gets back to normal. he's tired of hiding, tired of holding back, and goddamn he would really just rather get back to bed and cuddle with his attractive friend(?) so fuck it.

3\. haibara absolutely knows who kaito is the moment he shows up but she surprises him by just absolutely not giving a shit. the only thing she says to him is, "kid-san if you let him to up out of that bed i swear to fuck."


End file.
